Aggro Me

Sometimes I pass by the Nintendo World Store near Rockefeller Center.  It’s a pretty cool place and once in a while I go in to play with a Wii or look at DS games for a while. They have a bunch of other cool stuff like displays of Nintendo history, t-shirts you can only buy there, and so on.

But most of the time I just pass by.  Even when I do, I always check out the window display because it’s usually pretty cool.  They change it pretty much every month so I figured I could post some pics whenever they do.  The current display has been up for a while so they should change it pretty soon.  What is it?  Well, this month, they’re pimping Wii Sports Resort:

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Well, guess what? Karn’s off hunting wolves in the Canadian wilds again. I hear that even though it’s summer, it’s still freezing up there at the north pole. So basically he’s just slacking off in the wilderness and I hope he gets eaten by a bear for it. But I did send out my Aggro Ninja Death Squad to track him down and beat some links out of him. I know he usually gives some sort of commentary (I don’t read it), but I’m basically just going to post his links.

What a surprise, Karn has a Star Wars link for us today.  But actually I really like this one.  Check out this awesome painting.  Yep, it’s Leia Organa on Hoth.  She’s no Jar-Jar but she’s not bad herself.  Leia in a slave outfit is played out.  Leia on Hoth is in.  Star Wars paintings can be really cheesy but this one is gorgeous, and not just because Leia is in it.

Hmm…let’s see what this link is about.  Oh, we’re doubling down on Star Wars today. Shocker.  This is pretty hilarious I have to admit.  It’s Star Wars: Longest Crash Ever!  Nice job on the video - I was really laughing.  Imagine that dude was the one who destroyed the Death Star and the movie ended?  Well, he should have left his targeting computer on and stopped screwing around.

I always loved that whole Death Star attack. It’s been said before but how funny is it that the fat guy was named Porkins?  I love it. They should have made a whole movie about him.  Porkins chokes on a ham sandwich but is rescued by a Jedi who uses the force to pull the sandwich out.  Porkins then eats it and becomes a Jedi. He defeats a Sith by falling down a flight of stairs in comedic fashion.  What was I talking about?

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That’s right - I said JoJo’s Fashion Show 2.  It takes a man of the utmost manliness, so secure in his masculinity it’s almost scary, to review a game called JoJo’s Fashion Show 2.  And it takes a true alpha male, strong and powerful, to tell you it’s an awesome game.  And it is.

Those who played the first game shouldn’t expect any big innovation or changes.  But who cares?  Why mess with a winning formula?  The first game was plenty innovative and quite creative and the second still feels fresh and different to me.  That’s right, I played the first game too, though on the PC and not the iPhone.  But there really is no difference between the PC and iPhone versions.  I think fans of the original will definitely want to grab this one, and people who haven’t who want an addictive and compelling casual game should really consider giving it a try.

As far as I know there are really only two types of fashion games out there.  One is just dress-up dolls, which isn’t even really a game.  The second are time-management style games which are exactly the same as all the other time-management games out there.  I mean, that whole genre is getting really played out.  The gameplay is the same whether you’re in a diner, a magic potion store or a pet shop.  It’s just a change in theme with minor tweaks and varying degrees of overall quality.

But then you have Jojo’s Fashion Show 2, which blazes its own trail and is totally different from the rest of the fashion games (and really any other game).  Moreover, it’s the only one that really feels like you’re actually using your fashion sense, though I guess you can get by on memorization and repetition if you have none.  There certainly is a time element, but not in the time-management genre sense.  But maybe I should explain the game first.

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The other day I was yapping about games that riff on the idea of gaming, itself.  Well, I came across another free flash game that fits the bill.  It’s called You Only Live Once.  Come along on this classic tale of a hero, a villain and a damsel in distress. Check it out and see what you think. It’s really worth a play. Is it hilarious?  Gimmicky? Artsy?  I thought it was pretty funny myself.  And it defintitely fits my list of games about gaming.  When I get on a kick I don’t stop.  This game really stuck with me too and I even kept trying to - well, I better say no more.

The developer, Raitendo, released another quasi-similar game before this one called Free Will.  It’s got that retro game boy look to it. I don’t think it’s as interesting or funny as You Only Live Once but it’s probably worth checking out since it’s a rather quick game.  This one fell more on the gimmicky side of the line for me, but I give props to the developer for trying out some different stuff.

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I play a lot of casual flash games, probably more than I should.  But I never talk about them here because JayIsGames admirably pops out nice reviews for every good one out there.  Indeed, that’s where I found the game I wanted to mention today.  Because in this case, I just had to reiterate the awesomeness of this particular flash game, which also gives me a chance to work in two other favorites.

I can’t say much about this game without giving away the thrill of discovery, but trust me on this one.  I will say I thought it was genius, or at least very clever.  The graphics are as basic as you can get, but I had more fun playing this game than a ton of flashier ones.  All I can tell you is that there’s an elephant, some spikes, a button, a gate and a pipe.  Oh, and This is the Only Level.  The JayIsGames post has a spoiler-tagged walkthrough in the comments but, seriously, if you stick with it you probably won’t need it. The whole game was a great experience.

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I decided to check out some classic fantasy and sci-fi books on Amazon and take a stroll through the 1-star reviews. I was curious what the people who hated these books thought. I started with probably the first book I really loved: The Hobbit. Hey, must be almost no bad reviews, right? Well, not exactly.

There’s so much that apparently sucks about the Hobbit that I’m putting it into categories. I just copy-pasted and I didn’t correct any spelling. These are all totally real but I did take excerpts when I didn’t want to post the whole review. Well, let’s get started with the obvious:

The Book Sucks

Hey, as a fan put it, we are talking about the: “Most Overrated Book In Literary History.”

This has to be the absolute WORST piece of “literature” I have ever read. I really like to read, but this is awful! The paragraphs are too long with no main sentence with a few detail sentences. They are 20-30 sentences long that are so boring it reminded me of the sweet relief that death would bring!
You know when a review contains the phrase “the sweet relief that death would bring” that it’s not going to be too positive.

It’ll scare you from reading any other book The Hobbit stinks. The Hobbit is terrible. The Hobbit is down right boring. It’s hard to follow and is extremely dumb.
After reading the Hobbit I was so scared to read anything else that I couldn’t even read signs and I crashed my car into a highway median.

This book is so silly, juvenile and ridiculously written that it is completely unprecedented. Period.
Unprecedented, indeed.

Let’s get right down to the real question:
Why was this book written?

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